Miss Luana
Seated in my usual chair here at Petite Teenager HQ (we're based out of a luxury yacht that endlessly circles the Faroe Islands for some reason) I was browsing MissLuana.com, specifically the video section, when a title caught my eye - mayanruins.wmv. Surely not, I thought. As a professional reviewer of a particular kind of website I have seen some pretty unusual scenes in my time but none that paid homage to the greatest Mesoamerican civilization in history...
But there, somewhere in Central Mexico, was Miss Luana smiling broadly for the camera and announcing to the camera that she intended to climb, for the entertainment of me, the viewer, the colossal ancient Mayan pyramid that stood behind her at more than two hundred feet high. Undeterred by the throng of geriatrics from Florida wearing stripy polo shirts and high-wasted pants, our heroine takes to the task with zeal, stopping only once every few steps to arch her back and give the trusty cameraman what seems to me like an overly generous look at her sheer black g-string...
Seated in my usual chair here at Petite Teenager HQ (we're based out of a luxury yacht that endlessly circles the Faroe Islands for some reason) I was browsing MissLuana.com, specifically the video section, when a title caught my eye - mayanruins.wmv. Surely not, I thought. As a professional reviewer of a particular kind of website I have seen some pretty unusual scenes in my time but none that paid homage to the greatest Mesoamerican civilization in history...
But there, somewhere in Central Mexico, was Miss Luana smiling broadly for the camera and announcing to the camera that she intended to climb, for the entertainment of me, the viewer, the colossal ancient Mayan pyramid that stood behind her at more than two hundred feet high. Undeterred by the throng of geriatrics from Florida wearing stripy polo shirts and high-wasted pants, our heroine takes to the task with zeal, stopping only once every few steps to arch her back and give the trusty cameraman what seems to me like an overly generous look at her sheer black g-string.
And there it was: one of the most potent and sacred symbols of political and religious power in the ancient world, being scaled by a woman (that alone would have enraged Mayan priests) for the purposes of filming an up-skirt video (the position of the Mayan religion on up-skirts is unclear).
And the soundtrack to the whole experience? Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. Postmodern? Web 2.0? Try as you might, it's tough to find a phrase that quite does that surreal scene justice.
But Luana does the normal pretty well, too. Dating back more than three years her photo archive is monumental, containing thousands of pictures. A professional magazine model, Luana posts pictures from her shoots which includes some creative erotic photography and stellar costume art alongside the standard issue galleries. Miss L has an impressive number of videos to offer too, with more than 130 short scenes (many of them not directly sacrilegious) between 3 and 10 minutes available.
Best of all are the useful extras like the webcam shows and candids and, of course, the regular update schedule. Most surprising is a blog comprised of more than poorly spelt apologies for the lack of blog updates; Luana writes interesting and regular pieces about her rise as a model in L.A. Wonders never cease.
